It has been seven months since Israel and the United States have been massacring Palestinians in Gaza. At the same time Israel has been maintaining its occupation in the West Bank and expanding its settlements there. As a matter of fact on March 22, 2024 Bezalel Smotrich, Israel’s current finance minister announced that they have seized about 3.8 square miles of Palestinian territory in the West Bank. This land seizure by Israel is the largest one since the 1993 Oslo accords, according to a settlement watchdog group called Peace Now.
This move by Israelis follows other land grabs, including a major one that happened on October 21, 2023 of a small Bedouin village in the West Bank called Ein Rashash. In 2023 there was a total of 110 square kilometres of land that was annexed and stolen by Israeli settlers. And what happened to the Palestinians who were living there you ask? They were displaced of course…no one cares where they end up, as the entire world, including pretty much all the Arab governments (including the Palestinian Authority, Israel’s puppet in the West Bank) turn a blind eye to it.
And now, after Israel has rejected negotiations for a ceasefire, after Hamas accepted all the terms, the worst is going to happen. Israel has been bombing Rafaa and now preparing to go full out with air strikes and set the stage for a ground invasion. Another massacre is starring all of us in the face, and the Palestinians in Gaza are the ones paying the price.
The one thing I, as well as so many others, keep asking is “why are there still people who haven’t said anything?”. Many of us know people who are still choosing to stay silent in the face of this ongoing genocide of the Palestinian people. Not to mention the attacks on Lebanon, Syria, and Yemen. Is it because they fear upsetting people they know, coworkers, friends etc.? Is it because they are scared to say anything on their social media? Are they “just not into politics”? Ill educated about the issues? Too busy with their own lives/work/family or whatever?
All of those are terrible reasons in my opinion. Why would anyone not want to lend their voice to call out for justice and mercy to those who are suffering? Maybe they lack the empathetic muscle to connect with the suffering of people who don’t look like them. And let’s be clean, White people have been the quietest. True to the words of Malcom X, James Baldwin and W.E.B. DuBois who have all warned against the slimy, cowardly, and betraying nature of White Liberalism, White people will find every reason under the sun to not engage with the plight of BIPOC.
It is such a terrible thing to think about and feel…Screaming for help in every which way while people are being slaughtered, murdered, and massacred, and watch people I know turn away, or remain silent. Some have chosen to fight by going to protests, amplifying Palestinian voices through their social media, signing petitions, writing to politicians…And yet, so remain frozen. They realize and recognize the atrocities being committed by Israel against the Palestinians, but they busy themselves with so many other things that they become paralyzed.
I truly believe that this paralysis is self inflicted, in that eventually when everything is said and done they can come in with a “I always felt bad and wanted to do something, but I never did because I was going through X Y and Z”. But why? Why are people, who are otherwise pretty damn decent people, so afraid of letting others know that they don’t stand against this genocide?
Maybe some of these people are afraid of getting into arguments, or engaging in debates, and feel embarrassed because they might get backed into a corner and not know what to say. Yet this is one of those things that we do not owe any explanation to anyone about an unflinching stance to stand against racism, white supremacy, colonialism, the wonton murder of innocent people, the indiscriminate destruction of every aspect of their lives…You can simply say that “killing innocent Palestinians is wrong.” period. No explanation needed. And if anyone tries to push the issue then a simple “I’m not going to engage in any debate about this” draws a clean boundary that you are not willing to cross. And if they keep pushing then you just repeat the boundary, and you keep repeating until they back off.
It is important for Arabs like myself, in the diaspora, to feel supported by others who are not afraid to show their humanity, and stand by their values. Personally, I’m not looking for my white friends to understand what I’m going through, which is why I choose to not always talk about it with them. I know that their tolerance level for it is flimsy at best, and they most likely don’t have the guts to converse about it on a regular or even semi-regular basis. But not even to engage with any social media posts? At least to help amplify the message and somewhat skew the algorithm so that the digital voice of the cause isn’t snuffed out…
Then again, maybe they’ve bought into the Berne Browns, Holistic Psychologists, Cognitive Behavioural Therapists, and New Age Self-Help charlatans that tell them to ignore the extreme pain and suffering of others because it makes them “uncomfortable”. And this type of copouts is one that disturbs me a lot, when people choose to their own personal comfort over the very real loss of life of innocent BIPOC, who are victims of unimaginable atrocities. What is the epitome of privilege if not to choose to look away and disengage from what is happening to the people of Palestine, Congo, Sudan….Forget about feeling supported, they aren’t even seen.
I know that we all have our personal happenings and everyday challenges to deal with. However, if our advocacy and empathy stops because we can’t process our feelings of guilt and shame then we never actually cared about other people in the first place.
Guilt and shame are feelings that come with grief. And ignoring that grief, and doing the work to help us process it, robs us of the ability to grow as human beings. It robs us of the opportunity to listen to our thoughts and feelings, to understand them and let them run their course through us.
Through the process of allowing the thoughts and feelings of grief to pass through us, we put into practice aspects of our humanity that bind us together. We recall memories that shaped us and our relationships with others, we think about and examine aspects of ourselves that respond in different ways to the people we relate to. And we come to understand ourselves, our faults, our qualities, and our character. And through this understanding of our character we can choose and decide how to proceed forward and nurture our personal growth.
Actively and willfully ignoring the process of grief also robs us from the opportunity to build connection with others. How can we present ourselves honestly in our important relationships if we do not know how we respond to challenges? I’m not saying we do this for everyone, but it seems to me that we owe it to both ourselves and the important people in our lives, to cultivate a self that is kind to others as well as ourselves. And how can we practice kindness toward ourselves if we do not show up for ourselves during the challenging moments of grief?
When we grieve the loss of someone important to us we may also feel guilty for not doing more to help them, and or shame for not being a more present part of their life. And confronting shame and guild in ourselves is tough. In my experience, people’s response to shame and guilt is usually to dismiss and minimize our feelings. I know it has been mine for a very long time, it’s how I was taught to process painful and sad thoughts and emotions. Just shove them away.
And what happens when we shove our painful thoughts and emotions away is, like I said above, we miss out on the opportunity to show up and practice being kind to ourselves. We just end up stuffing away these vulnerabilities, and the problem is that they eventually find a way out. Stress builds up to a point where things boil over, and we can’t hide those vulnerabilities anymore. And how do we respond? With more shame and guilt, like when we cry in front of someone and we start apologizing for it. We end up shaming ourselves and apologizing to the person, for making them uncomfortable. And we also guilt ourselves for allowing this vulnerability to be exposed in front of someone else.
The more I think about it the more I keep coming back to the thought that people just don’t want to feel uncomfortable. And I get that, the feeling of prolonged discomfort can weigh heavy on us. But Black and Brown people are being slaughtered in Palestine, Congo and Sudan, in the most atrocious of ways. Crimes against humanity are being committed while people are sheltering their feelings from the discomfort of learning about and speaking against these atrocities…
I’ve heard others say that we cannot shame and guilt others to join the cause. My view is that if I say something that causes you to feel shame and guilt then good, that’s on you. I’m not responsible for what you do with those feelings. No one but you is responsible. You should feel shame and guilt. You should also use that shame and guilt to move you to act and engage and support. The lives of innocent people who are being murdered are more important that you feeling uncomfortable. Move. Do something. Say something.
Well said and this is a Great post !! I agree that Avoidance is how most deal with discomfort— pop psych has made this accepted, without even considering its context— or that silence, or doing nothing — it’s still a choice of how one is participating. Shame and guilt are very important to build introspection and reflection to make change. But shame can become flooding without emotional intelligence and insight — and puts a person in freeze- aka shut down mode. One doesn’t stay here long, but it’s essential to figure out the information behind the shame and guilt to then move it into action steps and connect with community.
….And in my experience white folks do not engage when it doesn’t directly impact them. I feel the level of dissociation from feelings is at an all time high within a culture of narcissistic individualism— and so we watch a genocide on our social media accounts and the powers that be do nothing but let it happen so they can benefit off the land and resources of these ancestral indigenous lands.
#freepalestine