MEAL PREP AND SABOTAGE - Fitness and Philosophy

A few years back I was up late at on a sunday night, prepping food for the week. I was making a big, delicious pot of chilli. I’m not sure of the exact date, but I do remember it was in the winter. I know this because I make chilli mostly in the winter. And I remember thinking about how much I would rather be sleeping because I had to be up early.

So around 10:30pm I was prepping the ingredients and gathering spices to make an awesome meal to last the week. And I began talking to myself. I told myself “It’s ok, my future self will thank me”. I didn’t know that this thought would unfold into an entire way of life for me. The first part is a bit thick, but stick with me I’m going somewhere good with this.

There is a lot to this, and as I had started to write it I thought about how much I would have to talk about. The self, motivation, socio-economic factors, systemic racism etc. Because all of those things can contribute to our ability to develop or sabotage ourselves.

There’s a bunch of different reason for why I wrote this post, things I’ve read, talks with friends, late night thoughts. But I would be lying if I didn’t tell you about a certain meme that definitely contributed to the idea. It was a picture of some random guy laughing, with a caption that said something along the lines of:

Sabotage the guy who you’re going to be 10 years from now, but quitting school, getting drunk, and doing drugs. Fuck that guy!

And I thought to myself…damn…that’s harsh. But then it occurred to be that’s what some people do. And maybe not on such an extreme scale, but certainly in other ways. Anyway, read on!

The Concept of the Self

Many philosophers have written about the self, but the only one I want to focus on is Soren Kierkegaard. I remember reading this one passage in particular in his book The Sickness Unto Death: A Christian Psychological Exposition for Upbuilding and Awakening where Kierkegaard says:

“Man is spirit. But what is spirit. Spirit is the self. But what is the self? The self is a relation which relates itself to its own self, or it is that in the relation that the relation relates itself to its own self; the self is not the relation but that the relation relates itself to its own self. Man is a synthesis of the infinite and the finite, of the temporal and the eternal, of freedome and necessity, in short it is a synthesis. A synthesis is a relation between two factors. So regarded, man is not yet a self.“

When I read that for the first time and feeling my brain cells screaming in agony. To this day I still remember the first words I uttered after reading that “W…T…F…?”

What he is basically saying is that human beings are a relationship that connects the finite and the infinite. As such, “mind”, which is infinite, is produced by the brain/body which is finite (having an expiry date). This is of course as far as we know and can speculate. Which is probably why there’s all these movies and books about transferring “mind” from one vessel to the next.

We are what happens when finitude and infinity meet, you get a human being. In a way then, humans are in a constant state of becoming, unfolding. The “I” you were 10 years ago is not necessarily the “I” you are today. You may have similar values, memories, but for the most part everything about you changes. And if it hasn’t well I think you should have that checked. Or maybe just carry on, you may be immortal!

Two Selves: Reactive and Proactive

So what does this have to do with meal prep? Well, I considered, there will be a future version of myself who will be hungry at some point. Most likely during work and in the evening when he gets home. I considered that this future version will be too busy and tired to worry about food, and cooking.

Furthermore, I thought, this future version will either have to go hungry, or buy takeout (over-processed and over-priced). I decided that I don’t like feeling hungry, and I don’t want to spend money on outside food. Therefore, it’s best to spend my present moment and make sure that isn’t an issue in my future moment.

I thought about my “becoming” as being dependent on my present actions. In this way, I can set myself up for a small win in the future i.e. eating a home cooked meal. I mean, at worst being prepared will help me deal with future challenges on a full stomach. My present self was taking care of my future self.

I chose to act proactively toward a future challenge, as opposed to acting reactively to the feeling of hunger. That’s where I thought about it in terms of a Reactive Self and a Proactive Self.

I noticed a lot of talk about “looking for proactive solutions” when planning and strategizing. Specifically, my clients who work in the finance sector offered some helpful advice about planning. That advice is essentially about the element of predictability. The better you can predict obstacles the better you can deal with them, as opposed to just reacting to them.

I’m not a psychologist by any means, but I do have a minor in psychology. Furthermore, I completed a couple of other psych/sociology courses as part of my college diploma in Health and Fitness Promotion. Lastly, with an MA in Philosophy and almost a decade of experience in coaching clients, I’m in a good spot to say something about the concept of “the self”.

So let’s get to some speculatin!

The Reactive Self

Insofar as health and fitness are concerned, the Reactive Self (RS) acts and makes decisions in the moment, as events happens around it, and data is filtered through. It acts mostly on instinct.

For example, if I’m hungry, my first instinct is to look for food. Athletes do drills to practice reaction time on a regular basis. The first time I play volleyball I’m going to suck. My reaction to a ball hurdling at me will amount to arms flailing, to protect myself. In this way, you can think of the RS as operating mostly on the Flight, Fight or Freeze response.

There isn’t anything inherently wrong with the RS, I don’t think, but it does depend on the context. In some cases, like the one I mentioned above, we need that ability to react. And we know for a fact that we can also train ourselves to have better reactive abilities.

That said, I can’t always depend on the RS to get me out of a jam. If I’m looking to achieve specific goals I need to go beyond simply reaction to situations. For example, say I want to improve my squat, lift more weight, or run a marathon (never). Those things require structure and meticulous planning. I can’t simply walk into a gym and do whatever, and expect any specific results 6 weeks down the road.

Likewise, starting my week without a meal plan means I’m caught in a daily loop of reacting to hunger. And that can be detrimental to my health AND my wallet! Of course I can make healthy convenient choices, but personally I don’t like spending money on overpriced food. Anyway, you get the idea, the RS will get me some result, but it’s not always the best.

The Proactive Self

The Proactive Self (ProS), thinks, plans and considers decisions and consequences for future scenarios. The ProS is the present self thinking about the well-being of its future existence. As such, the ProS creates a meal plan for the week. When I’m making a grocery list, shopping etc. that’s my ProS taking care of my future self.

In a sense, the ProS provides the RS with resources to deal with unforeseen challenges. I don’t want to worry about food when I’m at work, training clients, responding to emails, writing programs etc. Likewise, a training program tells me exactly what exercises I need to do for the next 4-6 weeks. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who walk into the gym with this look on their face. You know the look, you probably had it on your face without knowing. It’s the “what should I work on today?” look. That’s your RS, and it looks weird.

Furthermore, it doesn’t always make sense to depend on the ProS when you need to react quickly. I think it’s safe to say that reaction time isn’t a strong suite for the ProS. Can you imagine playing Dodgeball with that kind of mentality?! But as I said, the ProS can plan out and take steps to prepare the RS for future situations. If you have all your ducks in order, the resources you need, then you’re set up for the best outcome. All things being equal.

This, for example, is why all health care professionals are trained in CPR. It’s also why we renew our certification on a regular basis. Training, prepares us to react soundly to an emergency situation. We go over simple but effective standard protocol over and over. And if we are in a situation where we need to use our skills, we just follow the procedure. Anyone watching sees a structured reaction, as opposed to screams and shock.

A Note About Nuance

All that said, some things are beyond my control, i.e. genetics, the weather, socio-economic inequality etc. So I will focus on what I can control, i.e. mindful breathing, prepping my food, making my bed. But life is anything but static. It is always changing and we’re always being tested by forces outside of our control

For example, we may be doing well for a while, and then something can happen that sends us down a pit of despair. Depression, for example, is an illness that doesn’t seem to have a beginning or an end. It is an condition that can be manage, but does not seem to have a cure. Sometimes we get depressed after experiencing some kind of traumatic or challenging situation, loved one passing, losing a job. Other times it is so much more complex, and like cancer, chronic depression does not discriminate and it.

Situations like that can make us feel as if there really is a saboteur at the helm, completely messing up our lives. This is specifically something that seems to disproportionately affect Black, Indigenous, People of Colour (BIPOC). That is, there are specific socio-economic factors that essentially build saboteurs into the bodies and minds of BIPOC. For example, BIPOC are more likely to suffer from mental illness, lack access to resources, healthcare, more likely to be abused and killed by the police etc.

There’s definitely not enough space in this post to go into more detail. I am definitely working on another piece that addresses the ways in which socioeconomic conditions essentially build very powerful saboteurs into the minds and bodies of BIPOC, but I’ll save that for another post. Hint, it has to do with systemic racism 😉

The Saboteur and the Loyalteur

I thought of the term Saboteur to describe the part of myself that can be a helpful ProS but isn’t. Due to whatever reason, choice, laziness, procrastination, distraction, etc. the saboteur isn’t concerned with future planning.

A couple of year later, I was telling my friend (who was also a client) about the Saboteur. And over the course of a few training sessions he helped me develop the second part.

I needed to find a similar concept for the part of the self that looks out for our success. There had to be a word to describe a self that plans short and long terms success. My friend, we’ll call him Daniel, being the awesome in language and etymology proposed Fidelateur to define that concept. And as much as I loved it, I wanted come up with a different one to suit my thoughts. I also didn’t want to steal Daniel’s word!

After much thought, I came up with with the the concept of the Loyalteur. I think it helps describe a self that chose to be a ProS and help plan out goals and success.

Both the saboteur and the loyalteur can be fuelled by different factors. The way we speak to ourselves, the way we speak to others, daily habits, and practices. And, to a certain degree, each person is responsible for empowering their loyalteur as much as they are able to. In this way, the saboteur is managed through the care that we show ourselves.

The Saboteur

The Saboteur comes from the french word Sabotage. The word “Sabotage”that first appeared in the Dictionnaire du Bas-Langage ou manieres de parler usitees parmi le peuple. It’s used to describe a labourer wearing a sabot, or wooden shoe, and walking noisily enough to cause heavy disruptions at work. (D’Hautel et Schoell. 1808. p. 325). Which is kind of amazing! I love learning somewhat trivial historical facts and then blowing out of proportion!

The Saboteur basically thwarts my efforts towards a certain goal. It is empowered by conditions like socio-economic status, physical and mental illness, laziness and distraction, disease etc. Anytime I pass on a choice that may help my future self to succeed, I am sabotaging my own progress.

I’m sure we can all think of different examples of when the saboteur rears its ugly head. For me it was a constant battle in university, hang with my friends or do homework? In high school as well. Sometimes I skip my workouts for the same reason. We’ve all been there

What seems to always hold true, at least for me, is the guilt I feel when I knowingly let my saboteur win. I’m getting better at managing that guilt, but it’s definitely take lots of practice. And it’s still a work in progress!

And sometimes that guilt is physical as well as mental. So for example, I have a food allergy to certain foods high in Fermented Oligo-di-mono-saccharides and polyols. I break out in rashes, get super itchy, my guts scream, it’s quite uncomfortable. But…Pizza tastes so damn good. So I eat it. And its delicious. and the next day…guilt, in the form of rash, itchiness, and long bathroom breaks.

The Loyalteur

The Loyalteur, has it’s origin in the Latin Legalis which has to do with what is legal and law. It builds on the world Loyal which means

“Firm and not changing in your friendship with or support for a person or an organization, or in your belief in your principles” That may be trusted or relied upon, trusty, faithful, sincere, true” (www.google.ca/amp/s/dictionary.cambridge.org/amp/english/loyal)

I am going to suggest that your Loyalteur is only as good as the effort you put into cultivating it. It’s similar to how Aristotle thought that we become virtuous through practice. In Book 2 of the Nichomechian Ethics under the section of Habituation, Aristotle says

“It is right, then, to say that a person comes to be just from doing just actions and temperate from doing temptation actions; for no one has the least prospect of becoming good from failing to do them.”

We build a virtuous character by doing virtuous deeds. In the same way you must practice ‘looking after yourself’, developing your ProS. Some of us already do that, though we may not be thinking about it in this way. The trick is to try and do it long enough that it becomes a habit. And that is easier said than done!

Consider that when you make the bed in the morning, then leave and get on with your day. When you come back home BOOM! Bed is made! And I don’t know about you, but I think to myself “nice, someone’s looking out for me”. Plot twist, that someone looking after is none other than you!

Meal prepping is exactly this, my Loyalteur looking after my future self, to ensure that I am set up for success. All things being equal, no illness, access to resources, education etc. If I want to develop a strong Loyalteur then I need to carve out a time every week to work on growing it. I need to plan out my meals and set myself up for success.

My Meal Prep Strategy

I get it, being prepared is difficult, and requires time and effort. Having the motivation to stay prepared everyday of your life is a daunting thought. I try to break it down for myself and think about it day to day and week to week.

Personally, I usually pick one day, where I carve out 3-4 hours, where I do my groceries and immediately get to meal prepping as soon as I get home. 3-4 hours is just an arbitrary number that fits my schedule best, and sometimes I’m done in less time. And that’s just what works for me, other people will have different strategies I’m sure.

Another strategy I use is to pick meals that have 20-30 minute max prep time, and 30-60 mins max cooking time. Though I should say that I enjoy cooking, which definitely helps me enjoy meal prep time. I have to thank the wonderful Syrian and Lebanese women in my family who taught me everything I know about cooking.

All that being said, and all things being equal, strategy and routine are key points for building a successful ProS. I personally find it a lot easier to get things done when I’ve planned ahead. Is it possible to do so otherwise, without a strategy or a plan? Of course! We are super adaptable and resourceful creatures! At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

Final Thoughts

In a world were people are convinced to spend most of their waking life being “productive” i.e. making money, it’s easy to overlook self/healthcare. And the more I think about it, the more I want to write a part 2 and 3 to this post, to further look at the nuances and challenges that prevent us from developing our ProS.

I find it extremely easy for the health and fitness industry to place the responsibility solely on the person, when it comes to personal growth. That if you aren’t moving forward it’s because you don’t want it bad enough. Or that you lack drive and motivation. Honestly enough with that b.s.

Self care is so much more complex than “look after yourself”. Especially in a society where economic growth is prioritized over all else. I have worked with enough clients who are employed in the financial sector to know this. And I often hear from them “I’m too busy”, “I have meetings all day”, “I have a work event”.

More and more health and fitness advice from influencers centres around “20 minute express workouts!”. And “easy 10 minute meals”. These things are not healthy and are not sustainable for the majority of people. There is little joy and satisfaction that comes from that way of life. You can’t even begin to enjoy the activity before it’s done.

And I’m not saying that there isn’t a time and place for those things, but let’s be realistic. When the creative element is taken out of life, a certain aspect of our humanity is as well. I may not be feeding my saboteur, but I’m certainly not empowering my loyalteur. Or, seen another way, I’m developing the kind of loyalteur that takes care of the economy first and the self later (if it has time).

With that said, what follows in a short list of readings that I think you might enjoy. I will definitely be writing more on this topic, and try to go deeper into the socio-economic factors that can stifle the development of self-care and the loyalteur.